“Bedford, this is a dark day.”
Or so said Piper Perabo in one of my all-time favorite Wives of Bath-meets-lesbian dramas. But her words ring true today, for today I endeavor to go toe to toe with my employer’s workers comp company.
See, back in September 2013 I was the victim of a brutal assault on my face over chicken noodle soup. Well, that and clarifying the unit’s expectations, but the long and short of it is that I ended up in the ER by 11:00pm and had filed charges against a former client at my workplace. This was back when I worked on the milieus still, and it was a turning point for me in my profession; I had finally met the enemy known as physical harm, and had conquered it! Granted it was with a severely swollen, sore, and bloody nose, but I could totes begotes handle that.
Fast forward to February of this year. My sinuses were wreaking havoc, at least more so than usual for this time of year, and I thought nothing of it…until on the way back from Cleveland, where I experienced probably my first real migraine. If that wasn’t suspicious enough, I was also having constant sinus headaches. This eventually faded within two to three weeks of being back home after top surgery, but was picked up by the worst sinus infection I’ve had since late elementary age, no later than the sixth grade. My entire left side of my head was congested and my ear was completely blocked. I went for near a week without being able to hear out of it, which oddly enough disrupted my day to day functioning.
Come to find out from my girlfriend around this time that, apparently, I’ve been snoring nonstop since September. What’s more is that my nose took two months to return to a normal-ish size, and I had at least one episode of sleep apnea by her reckoning. All of this culminated in a
trip to the ENT which diagnosed me with a severely deflected septum. What this means is that instead of my nose being completely straight, the cartilage of my inner nose is bowed out specifically towards the right side of my nose. It’s almost touching the wall of my left nasal airway while (potentially) digging into the floor of my right airway.
What all of this means is that I now require nasal reconstruction to fix my lovely schnaz. After I just got out from under the knife, to boot. And wouldn’t you know it, my employer’s workers comp company flat-out refused to cover anything because of this magical thing known as “lagtime” — in short, anything “seriously wrong” would have occurred immediately as a result of my injury. Because, naturally, the folks up at Synergy are medical professionals.
Luckily my girlfriend’s coworkers have been providing her counsel on how to do battle with these folks; one of them even used to file claims for a workers comp company. And I just so happen to be working on interpersonal effectiveness in my DBT, so I’m using this as a much-needed character-building exercise.
And now comes today. I have slept maybe 3.5 hours out of sheer nerves, and the inability to sleep without my mouth lolling open. I prepare for battle. In the eternal words of some of my more bad-ass and ghetto coworkers: Bring it, foo’! SHO’NUFF!!!