So in the weeks since my last post I’ve had simultaneously lots of and hardly any time at all to think about my current and upcoming transition. The main thing I’ve run across, quite recently actually, is the idea of how I’m going to transition. Of course, being in a supportive environment makes it a lot more comfortable to transition publicly, that is openly with those around me. On the other hand, both at home and on campus, the general rule of thumb is that we just don’t talk about things that make us uncomfortable. Better to pretend to be okay and accepting than upset others by stating otherwise, after all. I tell you, the upper-Midwest is a strange place to live sometimes. But I digress.
And while I would like to follow along with this Minnesota Nice mentality, a sizable part of me says, no. Fuck that shit. Pardon my Anglo-Saxon, but I and other trans* folk are far too aware of the silence, ignorance, and general misinformation surrounding trans* issues and identity. And so to this, I try very hard to say a loud and resounding, no!
Let me put it this way: there is a part of me that so desperately wants things to run as smoothly as possible, and not make myself or especially others uncomfortable by talking about myself, my identity, or my pseudo-transition. But there’s the activist in me that thinks that, for the sake of trans* and non-trans folk alike, I need to be as open about this process as I can. That way, understanding of and comfort with trans*-anything, really, might improve, if only slightly. I know I’m only one little trans*Stef. But still, I would like to think that my actions make some sort of impact on society as it currently stands.
So, I find myself in an interesting dilemma. Who’s to say how things will work out? But I will most definitely keep writing, and making videos, and in general just living my life. And we’ll just have to wait and see how things go from there.